Tempus Fugit

It's been hitting me recently how fast this whole "baby" thing went by, and how much faster the "toddler" stage will pass as well.  It makes me sad.  Not just a little bit sad, but almost gut wrenching.  Here you get this one perfect little being, with no idea on how to appreciate all of the oddities and craziness that is parenting, and then suddenly it almost seems like it's all passing you by.  Just a silver bullet train that whizzed by and ripped out your heart with it.  I can't imagine how terrible my mother felt when I got married and left as soon as I turned 18.  No wonder she was so mad.  I'd never understood that until I'd contemplated my own son growing up and not wanting anything to do with me.  Those little arms squeezing my leg throughout the day are so ridiculously precious.  I will never be able to thank my father enough for giving me the means to stop ripping them off of me like I didn't have time to appreciate my son actually needing me.  But that's what we're "supposed to do" in order to get things done and be a perfect mom right?  I don't know when I started feeling like that's how it needed to be.  Hurry up and stop needing me so much.  Hurry up and be independent.  Hurry up and...where'd my baby go?  All the sudden my son knows where his head, eyes, nose, tummy, and fingers are.  He can ask for things and has figured out how to get exactly what he wants.  He has a sense of humor that makes my heart feel like it's going to explode and has turned my husband and I into high school sweethearts again.  There are no words for how amazing this child is.  Just pure raw love, innocence and curiosity in every millisecond moment.  Mommy's doing her best to slow down and show those milliseconds some love little man.

Kade (2 weeks old)